Mark 3:13-19

This passage describes the time when Jesus hand selected a team of twelve men who he gave the title of apostle. Jesus desired to spend time with his apostles, to be in community with a trusted group of confidants and like-minded friends. He also wanted to pass on his heart for lost and hurting people. I imagine he had a lot of hope and excitement in what this inner circle could do to advance the good news he came to proclaim.

The passage goes on to name the twelve that Jesus called. As I read this list of names I imagine a sports team, maybe hockey or basketball, where each player is announced as they take the ice or the court. You can feel the cheers as Peter, “The Rock,” takes his place. Here come James and John, “The Sons of Thunder.” Who wouldn’t get amp’d up knowing you had the Sons of Thunder on your team. Now Andrew, Philip, Bart, Matthew, and Thomas take their place. The arena is electric as Jesus closest team mates take their places around him. Thad is announced, James of Alphaeus, Simon the Zealot and finally Judas, “The Betrayer.” Huh!?

In my mind, maybe yours too, the mention of Judas is like a bucket of cold water in the face in light of all the other big-star apostles. As I read this passage a couple of times, I kept getting stuck on Judas. I realized that my heart felt sadness every time I read his name in the list of the all-stars. It dawned on me that I experience this passage from my side of history; I read this with the knowledge of what Judas did. When I mentally transport myself back to the moment that Jesus called and named the twelve apostles, it changes something. Judas in that moment was not Judas the betrayer; he was just Judas... and not only just Judas, but a man that Jesus believed in enough to call him into his closest community of friends. I wonder what must have been going through Judas’ mind as Jesus called him. What a rush. What an honour. Can you imagine being personally invited into Jesus inner circle? How exciting to be singled out and chosen personally by Jesus.

I can’t help but think that Jesus had every hope and belief in Judas when he invited him as one of the twelve. I also can’t help but believe that Jesus knew exactly how Judas would betray him one day. The sting of betrayal had to be exponentially more painful for Jesus because he trusted and believed in Judas enough to call him a friend and apostle.

Today I’m thinking of how often I am like Judas; how often I betray Jesus with my divided allegiance, how I desire to be so close to Jesus and how often I fight his leadership and betray his companionship. I’m also thinking about how guarded I am; how quickly I reject those who have betrayed me and how much energy I spend protecting myself from getting hurt again. I wonder if I can give myself permission to believe in people the way Jesus believed in Judas. Today I’m grateful to be reminded of Jesus unending gift of forgiveness, his graciousness, and his belief in me, a modern-day Judas.